A Memorial Day service in Lakewood Ranch would warrant a gold star

It was the Memorial Day weekend parade that wasn't.

For more than a decade, Lakewood Ranch hosted the Tribute to Heroes Parade that was enjoyed by thousands in the community.

While residents packed both sides of Lakewood Main Street, some people complained that the parade on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend should have been a more somber event. They contended it really wasn't a Memorial Day parade.

But the very name of the parade — Tribute to Heroes — suggested the parade was an inclusive event that honored those who died in military service, veterans, current military, and first responders.

That problem has been solved with the parade being moved to November by Schroeder-Manatee Ranch to be closer to Veterans Day.

What that means, though, is that East County is somewhat void of a public remembrance on Memorial Day weekend.

Sure there are events nearby. Bradenton's annual Memorial Day Service runs at the Riverwalk on Memorial Day and the Memorial Day Patriotic Symphony Salute is being held on Anna Maria Island, among others. Sarasota holds its annual Memorial Day Parade starting from Osprey Avenue at 10 a.m.

There also are fun events, such as the Freedom Crawl, which begins at noon May 24 at Peculiar Pub, 8141 Lakewood Main Street. The event is great because it raises money for SRQ Vets, but isn't really an observance of the holiday.

Lakewood Ranch remains quiet in terms of an observance.

We have a strong presence here in terms of veterans groups, led by the VFW Braden River Post 12055 and the Del Webb Lakewood Ranch American Veterans and Military Supporters Group that both supported the Tribute to Heroes Parade. Perhaps those groups could come up with a Memorial Day service plan right here in Lakewood Ranch.

The overall support is there. Consider that Gardeners Out East in cooperation with Manatee Library Services and Veterans Services dedicated a Gold Star Memorial Marker at the Lakewood Ranch Library on May 4, 2024. The Gold Star Memorial pays tribute to those who died in service to our country.

The service that day honored Patrick Lay, II, a 2008 graduate of Braden River High School who was serving with the U.S. Army's 10th Mountain Division on Aug. 11, 2011 when he and four other soldiers were killed by an IED explosion.

The Gold Star Memorial Marker at the library was the ninth in Florida and the 47th in the nation. The mission of the Gold Star Memorial Marker is to "offer honor, hope and healing by remembering fallen heroes and coming together for various events."

An annual Memorial Day service at the library certainly would make sense.

Lay's mother, East County's Stefenie Hernandez, said this week that such services bring awareness to the sacrifices made by American soldiers along with prompting young people to ask questions.

"People can't be educated if they don't know (about the sacrifices)," Hernandez said. "I think the Gold Star Memorial does help."

Although Hernandez said Memorial Day does bring more positive and loving memories of her son now that more than a decade has passed since his death, she said the holiday does bring "ache" as well. During the month of May, she often is asked to speak at various events that honor fallen soldiers.

"People reach out, and ask about our loved ones," she said. "It is time to honor them.

"In general, throughout our country as a whole, people go about their business. But we (as Gold Star families) go through it all the time."

Hernandez said as the years go by, she can deal with the services and speaking engagements without being as devastated.

"At the beginning, it was very hurtful," she said. "Now, the memories are more about joy than pain. I think of the things that we would do, just him and I."

Her memories include small, joyful times, such as during Christmas.

"We would be making sure there were cookies," she said. "We would make them together."

She said her son loved fishing and hunting, and he loved Ohio State because his dad, Patrick Lay, was from Columbus, Ohio.

She will participate in two memorial events this week. On Friday, May 23, she is speaking during Manatee County's dedication of an interactive Gold Star Kiosk at the Administration Building, 1112 Manatee Ave., W., Bradenton. You can get more information about that event, which begins at 9:30 a.m., by going to MyManatee.org.

Patrick's sister, Nikki Lay, will attend the dedication of the kiosk. Hernandez said it is the first time she has been able to attend such a ceremony.

"They were 15 months apart and they were two peas in a pod," Hernandez said. "She has tended to stay secluded, but this time she is coming with me. It is just where she is with her journey and her grief."

She also will participate in a service at the Sarasota National Cemetery, where Patrick is buried, on 10 a.m. May 24. Gold Star family members typically share stories of their loved ones.

"It's kind of a somber day, quiet," Hernandez said.

Hernandez said she appreciates living in an area where people do appreciate her son's sacrifice. She said she has a Gold Star license plate tag on her car and a man must have seen it upon entering Publix the other day. She was walking through the store with her mom, Connie Eason, when the man approached them and handed them two gift cards to a steakhouse.

"People are appreciative, and thoughtful," she said.

"They recognize the sacrifice, and that makes you proud. Patrick loved life. He loved to bring happiness to those around him. His laugh was infectious "

She said his fellow soldiers told her that no matter how tough things got, Patrick always tried to keep it light.

"He always wanted to bring some life, some hope," she said.